Ayn Rand Rises From The Dead

Dateline NYC: Rumors persist that Ayn Rand has risen from the dead. People checking out grave yards in Queens and Brooklyn. Poor people being scorned on street by old woman covered in one dollar bills. Grave of William F. Buckley and Chris Hitchins being guarded by mysterious people who look like son of W.F. Buckley and M.K. Rowley. Southern Baptists reportedly having visions where they are being told it was fine with Jesus that she did not believe he existed and it is now ok to hate the poor and Democratic party members. They are as bad as homosexuals in the military according to these visions. Senator Rand Paul rumored to feel in raptured mood as of December 7th of this past year. More as events warrant.